I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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