Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?

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(931): View more from Tennessee

she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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(319): View more from Iowa

By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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(314): View more from Missouri

For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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(757): View more from Virginia

This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

I can make a sudafedarita

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(209): View more from California

I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?

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(310): View more from California

The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.

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