My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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