That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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