found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
