I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
