Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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