The best revenge is premature balding
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
