Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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