my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
