Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's always time for handjobs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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