I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize