R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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