We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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