he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
