I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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