considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
