I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
