My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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