YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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