I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
