4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
