You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
