all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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