Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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