Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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