walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
