I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
