Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
