Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
