This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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