Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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