Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
