i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize