the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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