She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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