Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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