we're blogging at a bar
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
