you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
