spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
