I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
