Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
