she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Two words: blizzard sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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