I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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