Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
