Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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