; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
