The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
