New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
