He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What drink are we having for lunch?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
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